I finally got internet up and running in our new place! Well, I guess not so new since we have been there for 3 months! We move so much it seems that each time we move we take longer and longer to unpack and get settled. Anyways, the great thing about having internet is I can sign back up to get daily devotionals from Girlfriends in God (Check them out! www.girlfriendsingod.com). Today's devotional was titled "Lost that Lovin' Feeling?". It was about marriages and what happens when that 'lovin feeling' slowly fades away. That's a point where marriages either dissolve and end in divorce or people choose to press on to awaken their hearts and strengthen their marriage. Statistics showed that those who stick with their marriage, the majority ended up having a great marriage after 5 years down the road. Those that didn't, were 60% likely to get remarried only to end in divorce! Wow. This hits me hard because my Husband and I were at that fork in the road not too long ago. Things did not get better right away after making the decision to stick together but it also has not been 5 years yet. So I have much more to hope for!
One thing that struck a chord in my heart was she asked us to remember what drew us to our Husbands in the first place. You know I've been asked to remember when we first met, our first date, all that good stuff. I do not think I have really thought back on what drew me to my Husband. And today, for the first time in a long time, thinking back on that gave me butterflies. Oh, how I have missed that feeling!
It's so hard these days to compete with the Hollywood movies isn't it? The romance, witty lines said at the perfect moment, the man with the perfect body and flawless face. Those are nice, but really, the thing that always gets me is the kiss. The kiss. It always seems so...perfect. It's the very thing that makes you feel like your own life, your own romance is so pale in comparison. It's almost dangerous. But, have you ever watched a behind the scene on those movies? That perfect kiss is rehearsed over, and over, and over. And over.
No, Hollywood is not the place to look to. You know who really inspires me? Song of Solomon. Her descriptions of her man, how much she longs and lusts for him. The intoxication of it all. I can better relate to her because I know she was a real person. I know that she isn't writing to please the lust of thousands of people on the big screen. Somewhere deep inside I know that feeling is attainable.
The butterflies in our relationship didn't last long. Could be because I moved in so quickly and we had no money. Could be the stress of working together. Could be because after two months we were catapulted from courting each other into the role of parents together. Whatever the reason, our romantic beginning did not last long. A week, maybe. Okay, so where am I going with this?
I just feel awakened by that one lone little butterfly flying in my stomach. I thought that was gone and I had just missed the train to that passionate love. After two years, after having a toddler and all the stress that comes with just living, that butterfly is able to come out of nowhere I can't imagine how much better it's going to get! I am sure I am making those who have been together much longer than a couple of years clutch their sides in laughter. Indulge me ;)
I'm just in awe with what God can do. I know He has a handle on my finances, I know He can heal any marriage, I know He is capable of doing whatever He wills for my life, I've watched Him do it. But how much do I really believe He can do in my heart for my Husband? I know I'm not alone in this. It's the fingers sifting through my hair in the middle of the night, the lingering hand in the small of my back, the gentle whispers of "I love you" when he thinks I'm asleep that tell me God is working in his heart too.