In ten minutes it will be midnight. 2011 will quietly turn into 2012. For me anyways. Outside there is plenty of partying and fireworks going on. Inside, my precious newborn is asleep in his bouncer at my feet as I read today's post on the LPM blog and the comments. Beth asked us to describe 2011 in three words. Before I did mine, I read through some of the women's responses and my heart both aches and rejoices. This compassion is new to me. I find myself praying for these women and truly wanting what's best for them. And I rejoice as some have stories of redemption, new marriages, new children.
I am slightly in awe at the fact that I am at the place I am right now as this year passes away. I reflect back on this year and the latter part of it was almost too painful to think about. But I felt like I needed to press on and reflect on it, painful as it is. I am reminded of how many nights the pain was too great and I felt it would consume me. The sorrow too deep, and my view of God too small. The fear crushing, suffocating, life draining. To say that this year has been tough would be an understatement. In reality, the whole year hasn't been horrible, just since June. It hit me last night that it has been six months since my Husband and I have separated. Five months since he filed for divorce. I cannot believe it has been that long. I can't help but feel hope though. Hope that his heart will change, hope that he will be brought to repentance from the Lord, hope that our marriage will be redeemed and restored and that our testimony will be used of God to bring hope and faith into others' broken marriages. I feel that God is up to something big and I want to be ready and prepared.
I know this post is rather dry and not full of spiritual meat, but I just felt like I wanted to post a final post for 2011. Which technically, is no more. My computer clock says 12:00 now. So, Happy New Year :) It is a new year, but I don't look to a new year to bring about fresh change and a better life, like the world is pushing right now. I look to my God. And ohhh, He is mighty, He is faithful, He is loving, He is here, He is for me, and in 2011 He promised me "I will get you through this."